When reality punishes silence

When all illusions break down into even bigger ones
When I just don't like what is left to do
When I miss time and realize it has never been as good as now,
even if it doesn't feel that way at all
When I just fucking miss so many things
...
When life just isn't fun

Fragments of Freedom; Two (therapy)

Getting help, even knowing that it could possibly do some good, is a great thing I think that probably most would benefit from. But it can be so hard.
All the stigmas floating in my head.
and Questions...
Are you (theoretical person...mentor?) so institutionalized that you work for equality, after instructions, and without mind; perhaps you haven't even found yourself yet... Is that any help?
How do I know whether I'm healthly suspicious or harmfully paranoid??
It's all and always about the same thing(s); circling around, some irony.