With Usura

by Ezra Pound


With usura hath no man a house of good stone
each block cut smooth and well fitting
that delight might cover their face,

with usura

hath no man a painted paradise on his church wall
harpes et luthes
or where virgin receiveth message
and halo projects from incision,

with usura

seeth no man Gonzaga his heirs and his concubines
no picture is made to endure nor to live with
but it is made to sell and sell quickly

with usura, sin against nature,
is thy bread ever more of stale rags
is thy bread dry as paper,
with no mountain wheat, no strong flour

with usura the line grows thick

with usura is no clear demarcation
and no man can find site for his dwelling
Stone cutter is kept from his stone
weaver is kept from his loom

WITH USURA

wool comes not to market
sheep bringeth no gain with usura
Usura is a murrain, usura
blunteth the needle in the the maid's hand
and stoppeth the spinner's cunning. Pietro Lombardo
came not by usura
Duccio came not by usura
nor Pier della Francesca; Zuan Bellin' not by usura
nor was "La Callunia" painted.
Came not by usura Angelico; came not Ambrogio Praedis,
No church of cut stone signed: Adamo me fecit.
Not by usura St. Trophime

Not by usura St. Hilaire,

Usura rusteth the chisel
It rusteth the craft and the craftsman
It gnaweth the thread in the loom
None learneth to weave gold in her pattern;
Azure hath a canker by usura; cramoisi is unbroidered
Emerald findeth no Memling

Usura slayeth the child in the womb
It stayeth the young man's courting
It hath brought palsey to bed, lyeth
between the young bride and her bridegroom

     CONTRA NATURAM

They have brought whores for Eleusis
Corpses are set to banquet

at behest of usura.

NOS: BOOK of the RESURRECTION by Miguel Serrano (Excerpt)

She came even closer, so that he could feel the agitated rise and fall of her breasts. And she brushed his lips with hers. It was like the touch of a petal, or of honey stored in drifting icebergs, honey from polar bees or the midnight sun; honey from a Copihue surrounded by a halo of light from the Morning Star.
Such a kiss produces unexpected consequences in a man. Either it causes him to lose his spiritual virility, his destiny as a sacred warrior, his hallowed reticence; or else it instils such strength in him that he is able to free the giants from their prison in the rocks and raise the Continent of the Spirit, EL-ELLA, alongside the martyred coasts of the south of the world.

She let her red grown fall. And she stood naked, while the flames enveloped her in a light which was nevertheless incapable of clothing her Absolute Nakedness.
He could smell the woman's integral perfume, like a breath of soft air flowing from a universe preserved for him alone. A whole continent to explore, with its seas, its hills, its shadows, its secrets. And now he remembered that, on the other side of the light, when he first contemplated the woman, the warriror had succumbed, thus giving rise to the infinite turnings of the wheel.
He carried her to the bed of branches, beside the fire. He drew his sword and placed it between them. She stretched out an arm over the blade and clasped his hand.

'Beloved, do not fall asleep! Watch with me through this long night. We will be two sleepwalkers allowing ourselves to be guided by the legend of our White Gods. They will show us the path and inspire us. Let us awaken tonight.'
'How could we sleep! May this sword protect us. My love and desire for you are more powerful and inextinguishable than this fire. I know that they will not be calmed merely by my taking possession of your body.'
'I am the scabbard of your sword, made of wood from the apple trees of Avalon, from the Tree of Paradise, from the Hyperborean oaks, from the tree whose silken threads join the earth to the sky. If you sheathe me carelessly, you will break me. How many times has this happened already in the Circle of Return! We only have a limited amount of time in which to put the pieces of the broken scabbard back together again, after which we will lose each other, absorbed into HIM-HER and HER-HIM. And we will have lost our only chance of resurrection, of giving a face to our souls, of attaining a world beyond God, beyond all the Gods, in a dream which not even the most impassioned Walkers of the Dawn could dream: to break down the walls of the great circle and end the turnings of the wheel. We have a limited number of opportunities to sound our notes in their purest form. We must do everything in our power to drink from the cup of immortality, discovering the stone of change. I am ready. I shall give you my death. I shall place my eternity in your hands and fulfil to the utmost the Myth of Virile Immortality. And together we will have triumphed.'

Thus were completed the different stages of this most ancient Hyperborean Initiation of A-Mor, revealed in the mystery of the Grail, in the esotericism of the troubadours and the Minnesänger of the High Middle Ages. Transported to the icy wastes of the south of the world, with Parsifal, in a Templar's ship, with the Vermilion Cross on its white sails and all its lights on, as the saga tells us, and from 'whence it never returned'. To the true Kingdom of Hyperborea of the White Gods of America-Albania.
And while the ultimate test of this initiation was taking place in that ancient night, with a man and a woman lying naked side by side, separated by a sword, without taking possession of each other's physical body, she explained to him in her musical voice full of longing for eternity: 'The light doesn't come from the east. Light is only truly light in the depths of midnight. Now is the depths of midnight. The followers of Lucifer, of the Morning Star, do not beg to be allowed into heaven. They demand to be, because they feel that they have done everything possible to merit being deified. At the end of our road, no fusion with a God or redeemer awaits us. Our way is not the way of ecstasy of the saints but the way of separation of the magicians, of the White Gods who have become absorbed into the sources of creative energy. Creating worlds, loving each other inside and outside eternity. We do not beg, like the lunar troubadour: "Take us back to where you took us from!" We are going to try and change God, giving him a face. Therefore, my love, do not take possession of my body. Let us not create children of the flesh. I will make you pregnant with the son of death. And we will both remain virgins.' [...]

'We are living dangerously, my love. You bear the sign on your forehead. We belong to a different race. When we become conscious of all our bodies at once, crossing the most diverse vibrations of the ether, we will know how to love each other solely with the glance, with the pleasure that never dies.'
She turned towards him, without letting go of his hand: 'I am the scabbard of your sword. Sheathe me gently, softly, tonight. Do not break me. Your sword is double-edged. Its scabbard is called Minne, Blood Memory. The memory of the love lost at the beginning of time flows through the blood. Seek me in your blood, keep it pure. When you remember what your blood tells you, sing it. You will be a warrior-troubadour, a Minnesänger, who will have sung our dream of resurrection and eternal love for all eternity. 'Heil!'

Sit With Me

[Found the first four lines of this on my old laptop.]


Sitting around
After awhile
It's the worst

Waiting about
For your love alone
Ready to burst

Out laughing
Because
Of this ridiculous poem

Wander off

It's okay, wander off
most of us wander

sometimes we take a break
for refreshing conversation
when our small paths happen to cross

then we wander off
it's okay, wander off

all of our small paths are different
if two wander the same
then the one walks behind the other

not if you talk - take a break - while they cross

but then, sooner or later
one has to wander off

the other  might stand there longer
on the spot where they met
and look from behind at the other

they might turn and shout at each other
while one or both are wandering off

but one thing is certain
that they will wander different paths

those paths might cross again in the future
but one usually can't see very far on one's path

from that, one must learn not to plan
too far into the future
planning requires seeing clearly ahead
of your own small path

but usually we're busy trying
to figure out where to take the next small step
and that is often enough

at least we're getting ahead
on our own small path

Life is fair

There are rules objects function by.
We can discover and describe them.
They are reliable for prediction and action.

One gets what one provokes.
Reactions can be anticipated.
Things develop according to what they are.

One gets what one takes.
Ability and power overcome their absence.
That which works tends to persist.

(Hush)

We don't need to be the same.

Wait for me

Waiting drains my energy;

I don't know what

I will be.

Shame

Shame is a useless emotion.

Growth

Growing is the best thing
You can do it with your penis
You can do it with weed
You can do it mentally
You can do it with company
You can do it realizing you or someone else have learned something while talking to them

Oh, banana !

I'm banana
You're banana
(Why don't you)
Eat my banana

Black Metal

~    it sounds as rain sounds  ~

how to do stuff

make yourself justify your own action rationally to yourself considering how bad decisions in the past have a affected present well being negatively

The Best Way To Go To Bed

With other people around, is to be awake as late as everyone else being asleep.

hmh. movies.

watching them alone isn't worth it
(when i don't really have the time)

watching them with someone else
isn't worth it
when i can't randomly hug them.

Life hobbies

I'm not interested in anything, I am interested in
I just want to know something to be able to dismiss other things.
Only most things are just to spend time with, to waste time with
to survive, entertain time with, less energy.
Right now tho, waiting, I'm waiting, waiting for you girl
to play with, waiting for you girl, to love.
Waiting to love up close again. To share everything.
That's what right now I am interested in.
To learn a little bit of myself and to experience some
moments of bliss
when the rest of the world seems for now kind of boring.

Honesty

It's difficult to be completely open
especially since there's probably
a lot of hurt.
It's not advisable to be.

But one can try
to try
to try
not to hide
so much any more

For Real

I was driving the bus the other day
-as I do every day- and there was this young girl sitting abreast,
vis-à-vis, that is.
She was dressed in more than less old women's clothes
somewhat. A not so short, not so light, skirt, and very closed up
around the neck too. Her hands were folded. She was wearing glasses
Her eyes closed, I'm pretty sure she was praying.
And it did not look silly or I did not get angry, or annoyed.
I only saw, that it was beautiful. That she was.
As a person, as hope. However futile, unreal.
I had to look at her. Innocence; hurt. Youth.
Belief. It's not stupid of the brain to hold onto something
I think she must have suffered. To go to such fantasies.
Twas beauty if I ever saw it, a picture perfect.

Heart Song

Bouncing sausages in the wind¨!
Climbing down on you, inner most fantasies.
Look at what it has been
Think of it, as the moments - of in-between.

Relations

At first I had a naive pov on friendships and its possible exploitations
But now I know that
Any relationship of any kind will -in theory- be to the benefit of...will
-in whatever weird or fucked up sense possible-
be catering to the desires of both parties.
And you're free to be sad
And you're free to be awesome
And you're free to be nothing
And you're free to be anything at all
Amen

Conversation

The single most useful tip I heard is very simple

If there's anything that interests you in a person,
ask them about it.

If there's anything you really want to say,
just do so.

I'd also add not to forget that
there's reasons for everything
but metaphysical justification
for nothing.    Take care.

On Owing

We don't owe you anything
Not society
Anyone else
Or even ourselves

Meaning
We can do everything
Nothing
Including silence
or vanishing

For you to an extent

I always thought falling into the great lie of love, the evolutionary biology trap 'd destroy me or could

Now I'm not so sure any more. I think it can much more than harm

Make you stronger. There's so much courage, strength, motivation, to gain from it

So much to learn.

It scares me and horrofies to see how little it takes to actually be

That is, to recognize your own freedom

And how much possibility there really is.

I think it takes a lot of background work on yourself,

especially perspectives, possible philosophies of life, and to find the right lenses through which it is even possible to make sense of anything.

I'm convinced hard, strongly that is, of love towards not persons but their representations of ideals

And with that it is impossible to hold onto the fantasy of one on one.

It may be there. And it may be good. But it doesnt' have to in any way.

If I love another and even if I fuck them and love that. I cannot imagine falling out of love

ever. If you need an adventure or friends, even regular friends I will be jealous of,

naturally, as all time spent with you is time I'd want to spend with.

I'm starting to see the boundries of virtual reality crumbling down

Reckage revealing, the cold naked, cold warmth, it hurts the eye

of the valley of death, no, life, actual life.

Even if only words, and I would protest they are more,

but yet in fact of mere wordliness,

aren't they so pretty they're worth?

Pretty much all questions are easily answerable,

only mostly no one wants to find the answer or hear it

As the profs 'd be out of work. We'd need not them not any more.

No most questions come down to defining your terms.

And the world becomes easy a place.

Until again you face

The cold heart of feelings

atrained onto you as a child

And to beat them it takes journeys,

or so it's told, well so it seems.

Which we might not want to take.

So, broken we wallow

in leftovers of extensions of the great which we might have achieved

we swallow, the juices, companions'

we seeked. Ones good,

relatively the best. I guess

Even if all were guesses

there'd still be better or worse.

Peace for everyone

Mise en trope

Now the only things I need: A lover, and a few

Who keep me
company when homesickness of love me would consume

Poetries experiments as life's to be

Only it is layered through with woes

To do or not the crazy things?

... I want to be you close.

Anyways, do you want to marry me?

  

bodily parts, flashing in front my mind's eye

however much | there's never enough to

hurt, when i need to say: c u, xo, bye bye

or please, each time i revisit your thighs

even when i'm deep in and understand you

i can never be close enough

for between, there is always a path

which i think is beauti- and wonderful

because, one, again, we'd be alone

looking for a complementing part once more

that's why i'd want to share every thought, every thing

because thinking you happy makes me more than anything

i'm gay for myself but for you i will actually try

i hold your thoughts you shared so dear to my brain

your pleasure, it really is mine

and even your sadness is beauty to me

now, what i hate, enslavement,

is what i desire

now, i need pain, if only from you

biting my lips, or simply not being here, as i stray the pavement

having someone to return home to

touch - torment becomes undone -

has enabled acting to make myself worthy of that

well anyways, when you run away, please let me come

  

Yearning to Know: the Dread

Thought for Thought, its own Sake
Enter[de]tainment.

Is the examined life worth living?

Unbore Yrself.

Glory scavenges future objectives
And even finding your greatest friend
Can lead to blurry perspectives
Increasingly bliss just makes you t.end

Toward No.thing

business as usual

As usual out of respect I feel thrust towards full disclosure.
I am worried that I may overwhelm you. Tell me I can't.

If I know you to be mine, as I am yours,

I am free. Not unconditionally! but emotive-contractual.

I can hold out a bit longer. Do you?
If not you must act. Invite me.

Most hardship I found in drive, motivation;
now inclined towards my mistress.

Amazing Realisation

wanting very much to change doesn't work for me,
but as soon as i accept who i am,
getting comfortable, i may become bored of it rather quickly,
and move further on, quite naturally.

why knowing (atleast) two languages and using them both with online dictionaries can manifold enhance communication

it really is quite simple. yet powerful aswell. language is all about relations and connections. now, when i write a thing in my only language, i'm oft not too inclined to look further for synonyms or decors for those phrases, perhaps not even new ones. but a language that is consciously new [discovered] may be much funner to explore and play with. now, when i know two, i have a better chance of coming up with some kind of word to describe a fragment of thought. then when it doesn't fit perfectly already, translating -back and forth even- may multiply the experience of communication and its enjoyment, hopefully [of all parties involved].

Pure Reason is Not For Us

No you don't understand,
if you say it's necessary to tolerate boredom in conversation
"not to lose the social skill"

Because as I, by virtue of ideals, am tortured by Mundane


I know exactly and absolutely
how to judge myself.

Yes don't you think it hurts me
to witness it myself?

Don't you think I know
but do you really think
I can or even want to change?

You know what? Fuck you observer.
Intelligence sucks. What's with multiple personalities?
The self becomes impossible. There.

How to Change

[...] Decay From Within: But after achieving impressive partial victories against statism, the classical liberals began to lose their radicalism, their dogged insistence on carrying the battle against conservative statism to the point of final victory. Instead of using partial victories as a stepping-stone for evermore pressure, the classical liberals began to lose their fervor for change and for purity of principle. They began to rest content with trying to safeguard their existing victories, and thus turned themselves from a radical into a conservative movement —“conservative” in the sense of being content to preserve the status quo. In short, the liberals left the field wide open for socialism to become the party of hope and of radicalism, and even for the later corporatists to pose as “liberals” and “progressives” as against the “extreme right wing” and “conservative” libertarian classical liberals, since the latter allowed themselves to be boxed into a position of hoping for nothing more than stasis, than absence of change. Such a strategy is foolish and untenable in a changing world.
But the degeneration of liberalism was not merely one of stance and strategy, but one of principle as well. For the liberals became content to leave the war-making power in the hands of the State, to leave the education power in its hands, to leave the power over money and banking, and over roads, in the hands of the State—in short, to concede to State dominion over all the crucial levers of power in society. In contrast to the eighteenth-century liberals’ total hostility to the executive and to bureaucracy, the nineteenth-century liberals tolerated and even welcomed the buildup of executive power and of an entrenched oligarchic civil service bureaucracy.
Moreover, principle and strategy merged in the decay of eighteenth-century and early nineteenth-century liberal devotion to “abolitionism”— to the view that, whether the institution be slavery or any other aspect of statism, it should be abolished as quickly as possible, since the immediate abolition of statism, while unlikely in practice, was to be sought after as the only possible moral position. For to prefer a gradual whittling away to immediate abolition of an evil and coercive institution is to ratify and sanction such evil, and therefore to violate libertarian principles. As the great abolitionist of slavery and libertarian William Lloyd Garrison explained: “Urge immediate abolition as earnestly as we may, it will, alas! be gradual abolition in the end. We have never said that slavery would be overthrown by a single blow; that it ought to be, we shall always contend.”

http://mises.org/rothbard/newlibertywhole.asp

This is not only very true and important to political philosophy, but can well be regarded as a metaphor for personal change as well. Expecting big turn arounds is to ignore a whole history of accumulated memory and only hampers the motivation to start at any point at all. Small steps towards a desired direction must be regarded victorious or else paranoia will get the best of you; and stasis will surely ensue.

Everything is getting worse...

MNR: Everything is getting worse, and very rapidly. Few favor central planning, but the battleground has shifted to interventionism. There are three areas of interventionism which are the big issues, now and in the future. First, prohibitionist and the attempt to eliminate all risk. If, for example, automobiles cause accidents, they should be eliminated. Second, egalitarianism and idea that victim groups should get special treatment for the next 2,000 years for previous oppression. Third, environmentalism or antihumanism. The implicit idea is that man is the lowest creature and every creature or inanimate thing has rights.

http://mises.org/journals/aen/aen11_2_1.asp

Success Bores

Fame Mundane
Invention Stale
Dumb Love
Hatred Sublime
Godly Struggle
Death Eternal

The Best

Be as your mind is the greatest.
Because no one
represents your own values
as good as you.
So thus you are!

With spoons.

I want us to eat each other.

Haha

I hoped we had stayed friends, were it not for the fact that we had had been seen, well our heads, in bed, but not only that bad, as had not had I been so mean at nights, we might -perhaps- had been -maybe- seen to have had been able to be seen in bed, not bad, nor being sad or mean, but see, it's still unclear to me, since -hence- every and each of plan of past for future shows will have had to have had been seen once old to have been as that which it will -inevitably- had have had to mean, and show, that is, that every thing, or man, yes even him, is real.

The problem with. . .

Making a mess staying up all night

Is the following days,
being too tired to clean up.

Life Goal

to feel as much as possible, preferably great things
and to be as creative as possible
(in finding solutions
(to keep sane))

and ultimately to achieve piece of mind

options

lives
1: the mind, head into clouds ignoring loneliness to achieve incomplete bliss
2: complete integration, emotional suicide and despair
3: the good life, relative disintegration without sacrifice; imagining major obstacles
4: plan d, death, nothing, the static, now and forever,
5: deflection, complete disregard of any reflection and lack thereof
6: innocence, very difficult, near life negation or then completely unconscious
7: futile pleasures, good choice, win 200 extra points
h: twogether
i: group oriented
10: free sexy naked pancake bakery lessons!
k: the game
l: stop playing
13: life

the feeling of

uncomfortable confusion

not wanting to sleep
sleep being too blissful
for just another morning

unable to act

rather staying inside this
cozy feeling of pain

that bed that has kept me safe
is eating me dead, or still alive

unable to
fix life

unwilling to be
anything but the past

rotting away
in terror - contradiction of mind

death and dreams,
a blur-

innocent laughs
between faces stoned in horror
signifying much more . . .

sleepy head

funny smile ಗ_ಗ
~~addictive hair~~~
:wonderful worries:
__driving along lines¯¯

everything good
For once.

divine

dark breeze

The information hound snoops the night for delicious brain fodder
The old time raver marvels at a new generation of goth girls
The children don't want to go to bed quite yet and
The poet has lost his words again

And I feel insane tonight

While you are sleeping

Lovah!

life is cold and dull without (some) insanity;
joy means nothing, without despair.
oh i can't stand cynics, for i know them,
for i am one myself. i say
fuck you i love you

And I know and I see
but I don't want to care for it

Heroics, my heroine;
heroin, for me.

...

No!

You're right!
Boy.

Girl, dream on.

Be revolution.

Ignore shame.

Everything
is there
for
a reason.

Love.
It's true.
You're right.

Pussy

i'm broken
black and white
feelings

repair me, love
a quick fix
onto death

trapped in thought
hate or love

... for anything beyond
to be possible,

everything below
has to be reached.


..words; ..words; ..mush!!

go(o)d

(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

I don't know if I've heard music more beautiful or cried to a song more honestly...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_e89fP6D9w

death without philosophy

anything else is tedious

Planning Ahead

... small talk to be obsolete ...
what's there to talk, when we agree?

adifferent set of rules
for adifferent times.

Beauty Shock!

i love faces; am i staring too much?

people can be too pretty,
making anyone around them ugly,
burning in your head.

Oh-

... it was a sad day for the otaku when he learnt that the japanese could make movies that were just as bad as the western ones.

There's a fine line

between
stupidity and anything else;
meaning, and everything but.

Rebel

Falling in love
is an insult
to anyone you've ever known,
but haven't loved.

fing'ring you from behind
reaching 'round to please

licking your well behind

cum, oh, please


fisting
-kill desire-
deep down yr throat
(the rabbit hole)

-murder-

Death by Common Life

You couldn't hurt me
As I'm already hurting

I'm working;
Time slips away.

As I'm learning to enjoy small talk
I'm dying, day by day

Fragile

Head
Thoughts
Being

Heart
Mind
Feelings

Quote

I thought I'd never see you again
I'm so happy, I can't stop smiling

I've been on my own all my life
I've never had anyone to talk to

I've never met anyone like you,
so warm and comforting

You understand and accept me
No one ever did

The Case Against Reading

I'm not against the act of reading;
but tired of the glorification of books.
(i'd rather watch film than read the story;
the script is merely an early stage in production.)

Breaking News

Consciousness is an illusion
Sadness faulty brain cycles

Social pressure kills
Courage is dead

I want to fuck you.

Love

Pictures in culture. show you how things are. no, ought to be! Only personal experience teaches. reality. experiences of the senses, reason frees! I had the idea that love was confined towards one person. Of it ending, and moving on, to another. Well, I don't think it ever ends. It just glows, and grows... until perhaps something fundamentally changes. but then love itself simply changes. to love towards the past. ; but in some sense, even the present is an illusion. and everything is just memories . . . Point being. It doesn't stop. It only gets more plentiful. . . . death . . . desire . . .

Paranoia Test

A dichotomy, a nagging question;
which perspective seems paranoid,
without much actual ground,
what view is rather one dimensional?
└
Dismiss it. Take different approach.

Petty People

Petty People demand explanations for everything.
Petty People don't tell you what they want.
Petty People don't know.
Petty People are everyone.

My Intelligence Makes Me Sad And Depressed :(

What in the fuck.
How is sadness not the most awesome confirmation of life?

How unstupid do you have to be to party hard with just yourself.
How does feeling like you're the best thing ever not make you hard??

Teh Mindset

It's all about it.
Almost every emotion.

Learning
and changing your view on things
can really change everything.

Knowing, not seriousing all too much
is quite freeing.

I <3 feelings.
Laugh at everything.

Information Addiction

When the act of movement is reduced to the unbearable drive to learn
And the objective is not to talk, but merely to let things flow out again
An audio visual reign of the senses; devoid of touch.
With a heavy brain every irrational confrontation becomes a nuisance
And sleep is but an annoying disruption
Every mundane necessity is disturbingly inexplicable

And all compromise is but to survive.

Being as circuit of sensations; numbingly full.

Beautiful History

(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

Altruism

For giving me even a little bit of warmth
For pushing me into empty space
To be able to survive
Not to learn from their mistakes
I'll be eternally thankful
I will never forgive you

Stop trying to blow yourself

It's bad for your back. Okay.
Even if you somewhat reached
back in the day.
You have to accept the fact
that you've grown up

And embrace your more sound grasp of reality.

The Poetry of Not Knowing

Bad language skills can be so very poetic. I just found a rather amusing exemplification of this idea.

Was Kafka Insane? Or was he feigning it?

No, he was not sick or insane, he ist healthy physically and psychologically. Based on the Docter checked report, before he entered to work in Insurance Company. He was 182 cm High and 61 kg Weight. Kafka was mostly under depression from his Father (A Letter to Father). His Father was a dictator for his own family. His Father was regret, because Kafka did not want to continue his Business, running his Shops, as well as to pray in Synagog regularly. Since Kafka was the only eldest son from Herman Kafkas Family, an other two brothers from Kafka were dead as young time, and three other younger sisters from Kafka were killed by Hitler Army. Kafka refused or avoided his Father`ideas with the expresionist ways, explosive but from inside of the heart, it was opposite from revolutionary ways. Many Literature Criticer said, Kafka was maybe impotent, because he always cancelled his weddings Plans, with Felice Bauer, Milena, and the last till dead with Dora. According to his letter to Milena, he experienced first time of , wenn he learned to face exam he did a with a shop girl, since he was 20 years old. How can we say, that he was sick, since he work by Insurance Company till he got pension and he got a good reputation.

Take the fabulous construction "His Father was regret", expressing not the mere passive emotion of regret on the part of the father figure, but taking it to the metaphorical extreme by equating the person with the feeling itself.
He did not regret the situation as a third person; he represented the very concept of regret, personified his own state of being, became a purely feeling person.

So this snippet of speculation about the personality of a famous dead writer prompts questions about the nature and qualities of the concept of artistic work itself.

It's the same problem as with abstract visual art, in that the creator's intention flows into the piece, which, without an explanation, may lose all its credibility.
Some highly abstract renowned paintings might be accidentally reproduced by small children, in the same way as this rather entertaining text may have been an automatic translation, or the product of an insufficient understanding of the english language, same thing really, as it might just as well, under different circumstances, have been the work of a highly comical and satirical english author and poet.

Dilemma is life

Being alive itself; if it is mostly difficult, however easy it may seem, but suicide is just so much more tedious, then suffering is inevitable. Sexual pleasure, the worst thing ever. Its denial is nothing short of torture. And masturbating the shit out of life is just so desperate. Onto idealism; the source of most unwarranted sadness. Without it, we'd all be fucked. But it badly fucks up some of us. Damage and fear, and corruption, reality as inherent injustice. It's no wonder everyone's looking for meaning where there is none. A dilemma, being able to see things. Even worse, imagining more.

Movies

i just finished watching 500 days of summer
and i realized that you can't expect anyone to love you
especially if you don't fully love yourself,
that is, if you're not doing what you love
or try to. ...i don't know
life's sweet and short;
friends are rare and awesome.
and it sucks to not live while being alive.
i'm just wondering how easy it is to overcome difficult character traits

honesty is very powerful
it would blow minds


i don't know if love ever stops

*smiles*

Struggle

Life is so much easier if you try not to buy into cultural norms.
Morality, society, our whole planet; it's all just individual people.

Entrapped in conventional wisdom, you will get depressed.
Realising ones freedom, you can do anything, even nothing.

Internet Music

(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞
(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞
(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

Hello World

You're dying
if you don't try to survive

Your surroundings
don't owe you anything

All fucked up places


　　　 　　　　　　　　/＼ヘヾｲ
　　　　　　　 |￣￣￣￣|　　
　　　　　　　 ＼＿_＿／　　
　　　　　　　　< ｀∀´>　
　　　　　　　 __〃 ヽ〈＿　　
　 　　 　γ´⌒´-－ヾｖーヽ⌒ヽ-:,,
　 　 　／⌒　 ｨ 　　 ＿＿　　）; ｀ヽ-:,,　
　　 　/　　 　ﾉ＾ ､　 |김치|　 _人　　|　"-:,,
　　　 !　　,,,ノ（　　　 ￣￣　ﾉｒ;＾ >　 ）　　＼,
　　　 .|　　 <_ ＼ﾍ､,, ,　､ｒﾉ/＼ /:　　　　ヽ,,
　 　 　|ヽ_／＼ ）ゝ､__,　､_ｱ〃 ／　　　　　　　＼
　 　　 | ヽ､___ ヽ.=┬─┬〈　 ｿ　　　　　　　　　　"-.,
　　　　|　 　〈J　.〉､| キ |,　|ヽ-´　　　　　　　　　　　ゝ
　　　　.|　　　/""　| ム |:　| 　　　　　　　　　　　ﾐ
　　　　 |　　　ﾚ　　:| チ .|　ﾘ　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　"-:,,
　　　　 |　　 /　　ﾉ|＿__|　|　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　"-:,,
　　　　 .|　　|　,,　ｿ　 ヽ　　） 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　,,,-ｰ"
　　　　　|　.,ゝ 　 ）　　ｲ ヽ ﾉ　　　　　　　　　　　　　,,,-ｰ"
　　　　　.|　ｙ　｀ﾚｌ　　 〈´　 ﾘ 　　　　　　　　　,,,-ｰ"
　　　　　 | /　　 ﾉ　　　|　　 |　　　　／ """"
　　　　　　ｌ￣￣/　　　ｌ￣￣|　　,,,-
　　　　　　 〉　〈 `ｰ-ｰ-|　　　|-ｰ"　
　　　　　 /　　::|　　　　（_　　 ＼
　　　　　(＿＿ﾉ　　　　　 ＼＿__）

Reality in the realm of fantasy

I'm not sure I'm ready
for that much less drama

I don't know if I want
just normal friends

Tho the thought
of a relaxing
and affirming life
seems nice

I'm not quite sure I want to
kiss insanity goodbye

And take upon me
all of the responsibilities
of being human, functionally

in the context of a flawed society
and gifted with mighty philosophies

I don't know if
a friend is it

for a mind addicted to
an owerflow of perceptions

I need someone crazy enough to keep me sane.

The Sparks of Insanity

The sparks I feel when I'm in love
When I thought I could return to reality
But oh was I wrong
The craziness that is the landscape on the otherwise so plain fields of being

Glimpses onto normality and ignorant dismissal of challenging ideas
But what is life without the urge of having the possibility of ending it all

I really want to explore psychedelic substances
but I'm afraid they'll just intensify feelings of unrest and mess everything up even so much more. Though I think I could learn things. Experience.

What I am looking for is honesty in every way
and maybe that's not so easily possible under normal conditions
perhaps some kind of distance is really helpful; I don't know
But to truly learn about existence and being, how could that ever function properly without the knowledge of real information and knowledge that is truth!

Mind Pornography

Holding your hand, squeezing it
Pressing together bodies
Being inside all the way
Constantly pumping~~

By not seeing you

I am protecting you from rape

Present Time

Yhea, I figured it out
The essence

of todays society.
or of some part of counter cultural existance

Whereas in the past you would have stoned hippies hanging around in communities

Now you have seperated people
inhaling information en masse

When science is the new cult religion

Why not make the internet the new drug

So, sure you can become addicted

but it's like with pot
it doesn't harm you nearly as much as other things

And cyberspace doesn't nearly do as much damage
if you want to call it that (the unsettling desocialisation from real education)
As, say, mass propagada tool television, or all mass media for that matter

Burzum

Sadness prevails
Determined by fear

Nihil at heart
Rests my lover,
Inner yearning for truth
Ever-present disappointment

Split from reality
To find what is real

Revolution

Boredom sometimes can be a very good thing
because when you're temporarily out of distractions
it allows you to get productive

Being lonely every now and again is a healthy thing
as it allows you to get bored
And being with people really isn't necessarily pleasant

As only after you've done something
and grown as a person
Being with people can be the greatest experience
because they are the ones you choose

The Burden of Struggle

It's just exhausting that I find it so hard to talk about what I know, love, and believe in. And so it is difficult to act at all in any positive way, and not merely out of resistance.

My Love

I can't interpret implicit interpersonal issues any good
You need to help me if I need any help

I'll try to stop pointlessly hurting myself
As I will stop trying so hard to prevent any pain at all

Great

Oh my.

All I have to do is
what I really want.

Experimentation

I completely shaved my balls and ass for the first time.
It's pretty cool.

Obsessive Compulsive

A mind being ill means it not being fit for things around it.
Not necessarily something wrong with it, in theory or morally.
Everything else could be different as well, not just that individual.
In another time or world perhaps.
The point is I can't stand most everything.

Actually, I'm quite happy most of the time.
I'm just broken and terrified of stuff.
So that things don't work out.

I want to sex up, murder, fuck, love, punch, hate, despise
and eat everything and person. And laugh constantly.
Mostly at myself because this is ridiculous. Yet it feels real; in the moment.
I don't know. What to think or do...

Beautiful Paranoia

Thinking myself as much less than I am.
Things make me want to symbolically shoot myself.

Protesting I want with tears. Loathing all the attitudes.

I only want to get to people that I love.
And fall into their arms. To serve them. Please.

Wanting to die for every thing I say. I want you to feel sorry for me,
as I want to feel sorry for myself.

My problem is that I don't know how to ask for help.

Thinking makes me cry.

Tragic Happiness

I cannot say, and it's hard to even know, what is really going on with me. All I can love to do is delve into those every feeling.

I cannot construct real sentences and not start every word with I. Or make sense, for that matter. Because I will to write what comes to mind, and not think about what to write.

My childhood was pretty bad I think, although lots of it I don't remember, which is probably for the best.
And now I hate both my parents. But I can't detach myself from them, because for that I will have to get independent first.

But my self image is so screwed up, and deep down inside... I'm not sure I don't hate myself. And I see and dream of greater things.

I despise so much around me. And everything I like, I love.

I obsess about things. Do I sabotage myself?

The Horror of Tears

... yet

What good is a happy life without the enriching past of troubling experiences


bathing in the radiation of another body's warmth in caress

without the suicidal feelings of loneliness to expose those needs



diving into each others heads

when the eyes do not reflect defining dreams leading up to those moments



sleep without being tired

sex without love

death without life

love without pain

bespectacled

what a word!

It's all about thought

Many do not think enough about everything

And good people think about the right things

But I think too much and thus can't find
the things with are worth thinking about

too much problems come out of this
state of mind

that is
thought

When reality punishes silence

When all illusions break down into even bigger ones
When I just don't like what is left to do
When I miss time and realize it has never been as good as now,
even if it doesn't feel that way at all
When I just fucking miss so many things
...
When life just isn't fun

Mh

Perhaps I enjoy pursuing something which I think is impossible to conclude as I wish because I'm trying to protect myself from disappointment by expecting it...

What do you think about

buying an upside down cross necklace?


I always wanted one.

In my mind, it just seems shamelessly beautiful.
I don't know if I'd wear it, but I'd want to all the time.
Even now. But I don't want to always have to explain myself.
I'm just gay like that.

Ignorance is bliss.

Statistics

My glasses fetish has gone up by 200%.

Oh you

Love hurts

nothing helps


but to enjoy it

Good Music

here

Together apart

Touch is the pole of the world.

From nothing else so aroused and deeply saddened
again and again.

Amazed and disturbed. Kept alive and drained dead.


I donno. It is love-